One thing I do a lot of especially if I haven't been good is play a lot of music as it is routed in childhood and has a very soothing regressive quality with me and I have been playing these two sets a lot over this period I haven't been too good in myself.
Originally I had a set of cds on Naxos bought bought several years back this classic set of performances.
Karl Bohm bring so much more out from the score it's unbelievable.
The Melos's performances are much better than the original cds I had and this set is more complete for good measure.
When I look at recordings what I look at is something that will hold up for several years rather than some new revolutionary account whose approach loses favour and the Melos I find is timeless.
I hadn't mentioned them here before and I thought this is a good opportunity to bring my entries up to date.
Teddy Bears were always a big big part of me, associating them very much with comfort and emotional stability not just as huggable items although god knows I could use a hug or two at times but also as playthings, in imaginative play.
I'd have them set out as a family unit, interacting with each other doing things like looking after the younger members or even taking afternoon tea together, exchanging small talk, taking turns.
My childhood was messed up for situations in my family as much as my disabilities and how people at times treated me because of it, casting me out.
That's why I feel this younger side of me needs to be let out.
This month I am going to write a bit about a book which taps into part of me but was even when I was growing up was seen as part of a series that were more in the past more what we'd be handed down or bought second hand. This copy is the 2002 Girls Gone By paperback reprint.
Nancy at St. Brides was written eight years on and after the second in this series (That boarding school girl) but in a lot of ways the first proper book in that this is where the main character Nancy makes here appearance as a relatively unschooled 14 year old dispatched to St.Brides with instructions to be kept an eye on being very ahem spirited which soon shows in the dares she was only too willing to perform and caught out by the Sixth form prefects.
You could say she was impressionable which I was too at this age and this is the the story of her first unhappy term as she gets to grips with school structures, rules and consequences.
Nancy's problems were less the stuff of theft, insubordination, refusal to apply ones self or bullying but more about what can be seen as maturity or rather the lack of age appropriate maturity at least in part because she was never really 'schooled' so failed to see how her impulsive reckless side so resulted in one child almost drowning and another catching a serious cold.
For Nancy this lead to the matter of her being 'asked' not because to return not formally expelled by Head Mistress Miss Cawdwell because she feels Nancy lacks the maturity a girl at boarding school needs. It also leaves the door open for her to return with a clean slate made easier for Nancy making a attempt in her last three weeks to do some good such as doing well in the swimming competition.
It's an enjoyable read not just for her spirit but also how working at channelling her interests starts to pay off.
Compared with last year never mind the year before where I just at my wits end not being able get going, this year I'm well ahead of the curve having got my Christmas Cards all written out and nearly all the presents in ready to be wrapped then placed into bags for delivery.
While I do know about a few of mine, I still have that love for the mystery present you open, being in awe that to me a childhood Christmas had rather than just being given stuff you know all about and the only thing special is "can't be played with until December 25th".
It's that child-like side of me that loves this time of year and the surprise gifts from those that care the most about you.
Happy Christmas folks.
