The more you start to think about how we interact with people, the more you begin to see the greater gap that creeps in between how a person feels and from that acts and the hold trying to stay within the favour of a group becomes.
This is where I feel I've gone wrong very much in the past. To try to stay in with groups that didn't just toss me aside I just ceased living, echoing more their ideas and where it was mine and theirs differed, well I just acted like I wasn't there and in effect gave them power over who and what I am.
And it all started at school. The good news in my life as it is now, we're picking up where I dropped off, I will be me, I will say things and do things as me.
I'm little and that's just that!
Tuesday, 19 April 2016
A lot has happened in my life since this blog was first established to the point it isn't recognizable as my life as lived anymore and it has been a struggle for me to keep a blog going that has not come out and talked about the biggest side of my life and what makes it different to yours.
I am what is called a 'little' something I have touched on on Angels because with you it got to the stage I just had to because I have the mindset of a person much younger than my years and very much child-like even though legally I'm a adult and generally adults are expected to meet such responsibilities as working or studying, paying your way in society.
In general terms Littles and Middles notwithstanding what they need to do studying or at work, pursue hobbies and interests that are routed very much in their own experiences in 'childhood' coming from their 'Inner Child' often with the same intensity and passion that you'd think it was that' child' playing.
For me this thing is both routed in my severe disabilities and also in part therapeutic, making coping with life better for me.
Sometimes you may play, draw or maybe colour by yourself or you may meet with others who share the same sense of being 'forever a child' in that sense be it around peoples own homes or by meeting up at venues which are often discrete.
For some it begins and ends with just 'the play' for others it may extend into dressing more like the age of the 'child within' while do so with say dresses that wouldn't be far removed from that of a young girl at a party or play clothes like dungarees or for some school wear.
Getting back that 'child within' then if he or she comes out more in tune with Tweens or young Teens then personally I'd say the were an Adult (cos the law says so) Middle even if for some reason they still had a more classic little side which for I do, not least due to multiple disabilities some which do lead to learning and developmental ones around that point.
That is why I identify as a Middle rather as a Little (more younger age up to about 7 or 8) which doesn't mean I can't join in and play with littles at all it's that simplier there are other interest that aren't normally in there while we do share a need for oversight in our lives.
Tuesday, 12 April 2016
You may learn new skills, acquire knowledge though new possibly challenging experiences that make an impression on you but in other ways still 'the same' as ever before.
For me that's feeling as fresh faced as the schoolgirl I was.
Tuesday, 5 April 2016
Sometimes you can feel very lost, wanting to take off to another place where nothing that's on your mind comes with you and bag of essentials which is something I do know both from in childhood, holding that whole body clutching pose and later on in my life too. I think we're going on an adventure now after that rabbit having experiences.