Monday, 23 May 2016

Being the adult child

It's another week here and having explained something in this life of mine that is both important and something that separates it and that of most of you that we needed to as this blog moves on last week we shall continue to work our way through all of this.

There is no independent  adult sense of self about me, it's one of the things that makes my life so NOT age play although I've nothing against them or sharing spaces with them on terms I'm happy with because in the main they do have well developed adult selves, relating to other adults.
I don't relate at all to you as an adult whatever the law may say about people with my age because it isn't medically possible. I look toward you for guidance, love and protection as your girl, your responsibility because while I can be helped to be more responsible it's never going to at an adult level.
I would like you to really stop a moment and actually think about that because in the everyday world you are going to be looking after me. You need to forget what you thought you knew and from now on remember you're in charge and have some responsibility for a child in an adult body and some  of your conversations will just go totally over my head having much of the vulnerability of an actual child.
It's one reason it is better where possible for me to dress a bit younger because it does at least help to remind both of us of this important and perhaps painful truth although I've been living with this for a long time
Being dressed more like the adult posed  in this picture being in a more structured relationship that may include you disciplining me works that much better and I like it.

Monday, 16 May 2016

Helping me control my behaviour

It's not something I go on about a lot cos for one thing this blog was never about was some of my emotional and behavioral issues which are partially linked to how frustrating I find living with the impact of my disabilities at times on the edge of total meltdown and also impart because of that response it's been a very easy for people just to give way attitudes and behaviours  that for most people would be challenged  and because of the problems I have processing things trying to deal with using say cautions don't go in getting muddled up in order plus there's a big delay before I've taken in what said so it's just leaves me messed up, emotionally switched off and mute for hours at a time.
Although it doesn't happen a lot, moderate discrete spanking rather like you used to get as a child is now something that's being used when I get to that point to break that pattern of behaviour as it's hard enough for me to get by when my behaviour can be immature and it needs to end.
It may be unconventional  but so far it is helping reduce the number of infractions and I am starting to be more responsible within my own limitations which is a good thing.

Monday, 9 May 2016

School uniforms and I

It's never not been really here on this blog even when I first started after the trial run on Friends Reunited just hinted it with the odd word here and deliberate omission there of why it was even if on the odd website or two it was overtly mentioned.

Following what actually happened to me around late 2005 through 2007 when due to 'adult commitments' that I just could not cope with  and also going way back into my late teens when I first felt strongly this regressive side of me, I started spending time in school type uniforms while recovering, making up a structured day because I began to realize I needed the security of a fixed structure like I had in school to cope with day to day living, having a time for activities and proper breaks.
I also found part of the age regression in me did relate to having a longing to wear such a uniform obviously not in public because I felt more 'me' in it and the ritual of putting it on to work in helped as emotionally I was a mess because it not only settled me but also helped in being more disciplined in the use of my time.
In 2016 I can publicly come out and say that here. 

Monday, 2 May 2016

Blossoming Pink

Spring has finally sprung here at chez Caro's with what might be a warm mini season this weekend which will be welcomed  after last weekends damp squid so the layers can come off and the gingham dresses go on.
This entry is very much hot of the press as I went out this morning first thing with an idea in mind for this blog entry, put my shoes on and took a few pictures. One I liked was that of our cherry blossoms as I just love the shade of pink they have being a highlight of year when they emerge.
My ginger cat has been out a bit too, rolling about in the grass and sunbathing on the mat.