Coffee break randomness

It is a very wet and windy day as I sit writing this blog entry having been effectively kept in looking at  printed matter, specifically the Summer Specials of comics you just looked forward to in an era of muted colour on newsprint cos they were the "deluxe" product rather like many singles back the just had die cut company sleeves rather than the picture sleeves we saw more from the eighties and beyond.

For all that plainness though I felt I knew where I was and where the world was in so much as we paid any attention to newspapers and news casts.

I've always had issues with executive functioning and putting things off, sometimes I have to 'emit' almost silently instructions to myself because in the absence of I'd either become totally absorbed by something neglecting my other needs or never get something that needs to happen done.

Screwed up paper, tossed pencils and that are not unusual things to find when I'm in any kind of an office. 

Sometimes it seems a miracle this blog even happens given how I'm feeling at the start of the week!

Past loves and the struggles today

Not being a good week here with a muzzy head and migraine for a few days only semi-interrupted by a trip to the hairdressers so while haven't been able to prepare very much my brain was going backwards.

One of my first earworms was Sugar Sugar as performed by the Archies who had in 1969 had a tv show apart from being a massive comic giving an outlook on the teen life but having at least a dog and super clothes to grab my attention back then

It was a funny kind of era because coming in from the end of 1967 into 1968 a mixture of sophisticated productions, allied to a more child-like comic book approach to pop music and even cartoons had come in from songs like "Simon Says" the party game we played set to cheesy organ driven pop, catchphrases like "Quick, Joey Small" turned into songs and then things like the Archies and Josie and The Pussycats.

That was before you took into account things like Rupert The Bear being sang on Top of the Pops and Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by the Middle of The Road being in the charts

I always loved watching The Wizzard of Oz with it's songs I loved to sing along to.

I did see this crib sheet come up which I thought was handy.

Finally like a good number of us with autism I find small talk in parties, social get togethers and even in the world of polly ticks very hard going and remain unable to make eye contact without freaking out.

I was once told in a employment annual review to apologize for not making eye contact something which I saw as being near enough having to apologize for my autism, that I absolutely refuse to do.

It's one thing to say if someone's notices it "Due to my autism I'm afraid I'm unable to make eye contact with people" it's another to have to apologize for not being able to meet a norm due to a disability I have no control over.

Yes this blogger has Learning Disabilities

It's right to leave some space when looking at online self diagnosis tools as conditions do overlap not least ADHD, Autism and Dyslexia but to be honest so much of that rings true with me so apart from not having diagnosed Autism because it presents in less stereotypical ways and I'm damn good at masking there's an over 90% chance I'm ADHD.

Just taking the last frame I often have that working or blogging to the point in I effect I throw a dice with options and just do something now rather than remain stuck weighing things up to the point actually I've achieved...nothing.

There's something deeply ironically in learning more about your disabilities and managing them from younger people when you're an adult little but in my day there was official denial, mislabelling and prejudice and if they did accept something it was mask, mask, mask.

Just coming out and saying "My name Is Jo and I have learning disabilities" is darn relief.